5 Steps to help you overcome your insecurities after being cheated on.

Wonita Christine says: Ladies it’s time to activate your inner goddess and let her shine through. I know your situation sucks but you will rise above it I promise.

For those who love to indulge in reality television our addiction to drama and fighting is somewhat disturbing. For those who don’t watch reality television, the typical scenario consists of a beautiful woman who gets cheated on by a dickface guy  with no morals that controls the relationship with his manipulative thinking and money. Us viewers start to sympathise with the beautiful  woman, untill she gets back together with him and fights the other woman. We laugh in an awkward shock whilst we tweet in disappointment. By the next season the man has a huge ego and a new woman on his arm and the cycle repeats. We honestly never think it will happen to us, untill it does.

I’ve decided to create 5 steps to help us overcome the rath of insecurity that we feel after a guy who we loved broke our trust, our heart and our relationship.

 

Step 1: BLAME HIM!!!

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Remember ladies it is all his fault.

There are many factors that may have led him to being unfaithful. Some reasons may include constant arguing,  a financial change, lack of intimacy, a loss of an emotional connection between you both. Regardless of the reasons, as a participant in your relationship it is his job to express what he feels is lacking in your relationship. He decided to take that step to actively entertain other women. So BLAME HIM!

Ladies you cannot keep blaming yourself. If your sister took money from your purse, even after you expressed that you don’t have enough money to give her. Would you start to blame yourself ? Would you question whether you’re a good sister or not ??  NO you wouldn’t, you would blame her and consequences would follow.

Many of you may think that you can’t compare the two but the principles are the same. The principles are trust, loyalty and respect. Once these are broken by the individual it is their fault.

Acknowledging that it’s not your fault will help you become a stronger person. Especially when he tries to manipulate you into thinking that it was the lack of sex in your relationship that forced him to pull out his small smelly dick out.

 

Step 2: Movie & Snacks Night with the girls!!

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You should never feel ashamed of getting your heart-broken. Unless you got married on national television, spending 10 million dollars on an extravagant wedding for your relationship to only last 72 days. *Sips Tea*  Dont feel discouraged by the fact that your friends warned you about his suspicious ways and you never believed them. I  promise you, a true friend will not say “I told you so” unless you get back together with him and he does it again and again and by that point your friends will be fed up of the constant emotional rollercoaster you keep dragging them on. At this point of your break up your friends are more concerned with  your well-being, mental state and keeping you happy.

It’s easy for us to feel like we want to curl up in bed and cry hard but our friends are there to remind us that we are amazing people who deserve a huge ego boost. It’s also the time when girls become really honest and knowledgable. Every girl has been hurt, It gives you all a chance to inspire each other, whilst learning about each other. So grab the alcohol, popcorn, movie and spliff, have laughs and schedule to see each other once a week untill you’re fed up of their presence.

Step 3: You attracted him in the first place.

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Hey beautiful woman remember in the beginning stages of your relationship ? He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, the random surprises, the 6 hour phone conversations, the long cuddles at night. This was a called a mutual attraction between you both. There is nothing wrong about reminiscing they are your memories.

As such a respectable woman such as yourself I do not expect you to spend your time questioning whether he was truly attracted to you because that my dear is a BIG waste of your time!

You maybe in a predicament where you have gained an excessive amount of weight during the relationship and you’re questioning if that was the cause for him cheating. You must remember that a relationship is built on trust, communication, common interest and attraction of the mind, body and soul. Not purely on appearance, so give yourself a break girl!

Step 4: Do not research the other woman!

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The quickest way to hate her and feed your insecurities is to research information about her.

What she looks like, What she eats, What her nieces favourite food is, is truly none of your business. The other woman is not a reflection of what you lack. She is not a reflection of you! I know it is hard but try your best not to stalk her on social media websites. If you have met up with her in person to discuss what really happened. Please don’t meet up with her again, she is not your friend. MOVE ON THAT WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY!!.

Step 5: Find a hobby

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Hobbies are not only fun but depending on what activity you do. It gives you the chance to meet new people, have a new perspective, learn something new  whilst gaining a skill.

You are going to need to express those intense, deep, dark thoughts and feelings that you possess. Spend time stimulating your mind. Chose something that you have been interested in for a while or chose an old hobby that is guaranteed fun and time-consuming.

To conclude

Accepting that he cheated on you based on his own insecurities will help you understand that not everyone man has the same insecurities. Which means not everyman will break your trust in the way he did. Also you will then understand what type of guy is suited to you. Your long pillow talks with your ex will be replaced by your crazy freaky friends and you will appreciate what real quality time is. Knowing that you were attracted before, during and after your relationship will give you the confidence that you never knew you had. Cutting off all ties included the other woman will lessen the pain by 50 percent. A majority of women spend hours a day stalking other women, crying and getting super depressed about this. Finally finding a hobby is an incredible way to kill time and focus on the things you love. It will be like getting to know yourself again. Who you are outside the relationship.