For the uninspired woman: The unfair rule that resonates in our souls when dating a guy is that if you sleep with him too soon he’s likely to lose interest in you. Whereas if you wait a while he will value you and everything will work out. These thoughts may consume your mind but have you ever thought about what you want ?
Sex|| Lets wait….
You shouldn’t use sex to control the outcome of a potential relationship. Generally speaking a majority of women wait to have sex with the intention to gain a stronger emotional bond between the guy and herself without the influence of sex. There is nothing wrong with that idea especially if you’re multi dating or looking for a serious partner.
Things tend to get complicated when the question of how long do you wait ? 1-3 weeks 1-3 months occurs. It varies for each woman however this type of mentality can enable a controlling sexual relationship. Where the woman gets too comfortable on deciding when sex should happen.
“Lets wait for an extra week untill it’s valentines day to make it extra special”
It should be less about the time and more about when you feel like you know him well enough to decide whether you want to have sex or not.
Women get burned and hurt so often by men its understandable why we choose to wait to have sexual intercourse. In addition we must be honest with ourselves. If you’re waiting because you fear he will use you. That’s not fair on him. Imagine the tables were turned (this is not to guilt trip you into having sex ). Just be honest and open with him about the reasons why you’re waiting and if he can’t respect that, you know what to do.
Benefits: You get to know the persons on a deeper level creating an emotional bond and attachment.
Will he value me more if I wait ?
You have to figure out whether sex equates to value. Do you find him more valuable if he waits to have sex with you ? (Something to think about)
“I’ll value you her more if she didn’t jump into bed with me straight away”
It takes two to tango and if you feel that she’s less valuable if you sleep with her straight away then I guess you are aswell.
SEX || VALUE
Value – The regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.
Sex is what you make it. We have to get rid of this idea that sex is the most valuable thing a woman can offer. Sex is not an exchange of goods and services. Sex is supposed to be a pleasurable experience between two people who are sexually attracted to each other. As women, we should respect, care and love our bodies and so should men. Men shouldnt make us feel as though the best thing they’re getting from us is sex.
Sex doesn’t/ shouldnt equate to value.
Sex || Lets go with the flow
Often times we get so consumed with worrying about whether a guy will find us physically attractive, we forget to live. You may meet an amazing person and the timing just feels right or you’ve gotten to know an amazing guy but before you commit you want to see what his working with (if you know what I mean). Either way, those who tend to go with the flow feel less guilty about their decisions because it’s all about being in the moment.
Just make sure that you carry condoms if you’re this type of girl. You don’t want to be living in the moment with an STD and living in the moment doesn’t mean having sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry on a drunk night because that my dear is just reckless.
Benefits: You’re a confident woman living her life with no regrets.
Sex || Lets do it now!
To each their own. Having sex straight away with the wrong person can suck. But having sex with the right person is magical. Your hormones are racing, you both feel the attraction and POW you are rocking each others boat. Having sex straight away doesnt predict whether or not you will last. You must take caution because immature men tend to drastically lose interest. Especially if sex was the only thing they wanted. In addition we are also human and we also lose interest. Maybe the sex wasn’t what you expected but at least you can make the decision to carry on with this relationship or not.
Warning: If you’re constantly having sex with no real connection. Make sure you find a balance between getting to know him on a deeper level and rocking his boat. Once you find the balance things should be fine.
Say goodbye to all you insecurities, The deed has been done. Now spread your wings and embrace your body.
Last Reminder. Don’t feel guilty for having sex ! Your damned if you do and your damned if you don’t. It’s ok to have preferences. Lets have safe sex and don’t forget to get tested.
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